The Children are smiling!
Looking back over the events of the last few days, I am so overwhelmed with joy that I can barely muster the energy to bask in the warm, slightly moist glow of God's own love. Yes, God has seen fit to reward me with a veritable deluge of affection, a happy ending that is so perfect that it might have come straight out of Hollywood.
First, God has seen fit to have the children-hating tbt*.com, owned and operated by the newspaper that some people say is run by a bunch of pedophiles, The Saint Petersburg Times, fire the hacktacular Gina Vivinetto for aberrant behavior involving children.
Ironically, this decision by tbt*.com may end up providing a valuable life lesson to those children who might feel tempted to experiment with the homosexual agenda. Vivinetto will live out her years suffering the miserable humiliation of this defeat in abject poverty before succumbing to the ravages of one of the persistent sexually transmitted infections which right this very second are no doubt ravaging the groinoidal region for which she is named. I will get my panties back, and the children will witness her wretched existence and need no more proof that God hates her and her kind.
Even now, Ms. Vivinetto is being punished by God, and it would be irresponsible to assume that her ailments are not a direct gift from God to The Children.
Next, in the case of Satan invading Brandon in the form of a bikini bar, The State Attorney has seen fit to completely absolve me of any wrong doing. That means that God approves of my righteous fighting for The Children. Go God!
Now, some people might say that since the bikini bar is open for business that I lost this crusade. Well, to those people, I respond that God's plan may just be too complex for their small little minds to comprehend. I pray that God will smite my critics and as I close my eyes I can feel God's massive love throbbing within me. Oh, God!